Puzzle Pieces of a Beautiful Disaster

The Bully Inside my Head

Wish they would just tumble out of my mouth,
Wish i didn’t have to shut them in tight,
In their box,
Where those thoughts that don’t belong,
Come into my head,
I can’t tell you,
because i think it would scare you.
That i want to be numb,
That i want to feel nothing.
It’s too hard to feel all of this,
Too hard to feel everything at once.
I can’t tell you the real reason,
Why i did it.
Why i took the razor over my skin,
Because i wanted top be numb,
Because i wanted to use that,
To block out that negative voice
In my head.
That says I’m nothing,
That im not worth or deserve the love that you give to me so freely,
So beautifully,
that all i feel i can do is say thank you,
That i feel like i have nothing to offer you except pain, and rage, and guilt, and regret,
That i am not worthy of your beautiful love.
That i am not and never will be,
Worthy of my own love of self.
I keep thinking that one day,
I will be able to be worthy.
But that voice is an ever reminder,
An ever worrier that i will let myself down again, and in the process let everyone down around myself.
I don’t feel beautiful
when i look at myself in the mirror.
I feel fat and ugly with these scars,
That i can’t hide,
Nor do i trust it
when people call me beautiful.
Because you see it’s different
when the bully comes to live with you,
Inside your own head.

(Source: uncreativeminds.com, via ginalizcruzmorales)

Just Love

There are days when i just want to tear my hair out with him, because he makes me so frustrated with him sometimes, and some of the subjects we have to deal with, we don’t stand on even ground. At the same time he makes me fall in love with him even more with the littlest things he does. I can imagine a future with him in it in my life. There are days when all i can think about at the end of the day is to curl up with him, and there would be nothing better than that. He makes me believe that im beautiful, and loved, and i can only hope that i do the same, that i can even show him how much i love him and appreciate him for being there, even though I’m not easy to love, or even put up. I wouldn’t be able to do half the things i do without him.

watchtheskytonight:

wonderfloniumandfezzes:

a-bookworm-in-221b:

superblys:

starkiddestiel221b:

JUST IN TIME.

JUST IN TIME FANDOM.

ALWAYS REBLOG ON TUESDAY

IT’S A LAW

I made it

(Source: deanhasthetardis, via andachan)

Well, all I can say is that it was a lucky day for the Weasleys when Ron decided to sit in your compartment on the Hogwarts Express, Harry.

(via noteworthy-thoughts)

(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

She likes me now. She really likes me.

Review of The Erstaz Elevator by Lemony Snicket:

** spoiler alert ** Okay this sixth installment is much the same disappointment. Although it does get a little better when the Baudelaires finally meet the Quagmire triplets again, only to let them slip out of their grasps again, along with the secret of VFD. You think Violet would’ve known by now to let Isadora speak, considering how much even the best thought out plans never seem to work out for them.Mr. Poe is still quite useless and I’m sorry to even read him as a character. Still flat, but slowly, jerkily getting better

This is the tattoo that i want to get next week. It will mark half a year that I’m clean. It has already been 145 days. I think i can do this.

Pottermore

(Source: fairhelenaravenclaw)